About to fly...

Awakening to the spiritual gifts within myself have been slow but steady. While the omens continue, I drag my feet along the path hesitatingly and with caution. I know my soul is old and bearing hidden treasures but it tires waiting for me to jiggle the keys to find the right one that unlocks a door or set of doors. I’m beginning to locate the matching keys at Kripalu and am ever so gingerly opening doors and peeking in. I can feel the owl now saying “yes, yes.” Being persuaded by entities unseen I feel like a baby bird being pushed to believe in jumping and urged to believe in myself. I rationalize with the pusher and question, and question some more, yet I know I’m backing up on a plank where I’m meant to soar soon. I have noticed, rather obviously, an enormous increase in intuition and an automatic download of people’s stories, pains and avenues to heal sometimes within only minutes of an initial conversation. I used to think that being a social worker was the fancy title that somehow dubbed me the insight to support people. To my surprise, at Kripalu, such insight has continued and increased even though I have stepped out of the dubbed role. I’m wearing this cloak of claircognizance and I’m not sure it fits me and if it’s meant for me. Did God take my size? I’d like to know what the fine print says, to read the label and determine what is possible with this cloak. It’s like I can’t just step out and proclaim it because I’m afraid I don’t match the potential power. While stating this I recognize the absurdity of already boxing myself in. But what if I’m not ready to fully embrace this cloak? I’d prefer to stay on the branch a little bit longer and feel around, measure the fall to the ground and watch others fly. The good news is that I consider myself progressing evidenced by making this week’s blog all about this particular spiritual evolution. Somehow public exposure seems dangerously risky to me. I can see me now, warning other birds and animals before I take the leap to fly (imagine me yelling down with a megaphone from a tree). “I’m going to jump any day now.” “Feel free to support me; that would be nice.” “Feel free to not support me; that would be nice too.” “Either way, I know I’m meant to jump and I believe that confidence and skill will appear during flight.” Simultaneously I realize no one really cares either way and all the animals are going about their business all the same. I was the hesitant, scrutinizing, judgmental and apprehensive one all along.

I'm dipping into a spiritual pool and discovering I know how to swim.

What pool you ask? I've done "energy drawings" (my own made-up name) for people that incorporate both their energetic blocks and solutions to heal them. The colors depicted are symbolic as well as the size, intensity and overlapping of colors. (I’ve included a sample in this week’s pictures of what my energy looks like). The process involves meditating on a person when they’re not around and asking their ascended masters, guides and angels to come in to join me. I then begin channeling information through artistically drawing their energy. After, I also do an automatic writing piece of what can support them on the back of the drawing which I greatly believe to come through me and not from me. I have found that art is a closer representation of what I’m intuitive feeling. Language is a big jump from the subtle divine stream of knowing that I receive and some things get lost in translation. Yet going from feeling, to knowing, to drawing allows an avenue for an abstract and close representation of psychic impressions. After seeing it, language then comes a bit easier. It’s hard to describe. There are other mediums I’ve practiced with as well including faery and angel cards. They somehow unlock a piece of my brain that breaks the bridge and the water flows with ease… flushing, pure, rapid insight arrives like little petals being dropped from heaven into my crown chakra. The community at Kripalu is so awake, alive, conscious and supportive that they have allowed me the space to grow in this area. Fellow volunteers have being cheering me on to finally take that jump. I have several grand and divine friends who have offered themselves to me to practice. I have been engaging in this for the past two months but was too insecure to talk about it until now. With great success in practice, I build confidence.

What I know to be true…

We all have intuition in varying degrees that stems from the divine light in God.
We don’t hear or nurture it because of the chatter of the mind.
Meditation is the way to secure peace and practice listening to divine guidance.
Society’s judgment of what is acceptable, mainstream and plausible warps the brain and hinders this intuition from growing.
The human mind’s desire to see everything in order to believe it contributes to society’s perceptions.
Your higher self knows exactly what’s best for you but it calls to you subtly. Do you hear what it is saying to you right now about your life?
The painful and challenging life experiences we have are precious divine gifts just waiting to be opened. Are you learning or are you perpetuating the learning?
Judgment of self has a profound impact on ability to succeed.
Our past lives show up in our current lives. If you need to break free, do what you are most afraid to do.
All is a mirror of you.

I feel dangerous and somewhat controversial in this blog. I see it as my attempt to immerse myself in the process of self-acceptance in preparation for flight. It’s time to set some intentions and begin manifesting. I hope you are inclined to join me in releasing hindering beliefs you may hold about the life you live as well. Will you stand with me on the branch? What holds you back? What are you insecure about? What is possible for you? What would it take for you to make all things possible? Do you possess the courage to do those things? Right about now a strong feeling that all can be overcome, healed and accomplished is consuming me. My life has been so enriched by being at Kripalu that it’s difficult to hold the gratitude and sense of aliveness I feel within my physical body. I stand at the edge of the branch atop the tallest Hemlock and look down with excitement as I spread my wings and smile to the sun. I have faith. I’ll wear the over sized cloak until it fits comfortably. I release any and all perceptions born onto me from others about what is weird, appropriate or real. I no longer live in a box. I whistle and skip to my own tune. I see the biggest picture I can from my higher self and watch the world occur from that height. I know that one light can illuminate the darkest room and that we are all a light just waiting to be turned on. I shine. I choose the happiest, most fulfilling life available to me and I label it as deserving. Irrespective of any and all, my truth is the truth for me and that gives me wings big enough to hold the universe.

May peace, self-acceptance and the courage to heal eternally emanate from my heart to yours,
Jai Bhagwan,
Candice