The world seen through my camera

Dear Beings of Light,

I’ll let the pictures do more talking than the words, a mini caption will give you all that you need. Pictures are posted from the bottom up. Feel free to check out the links I sprinkled in.

1) A bike ride through Tanglewood anyone? My head knows a bike helmet well. http://www.bso.org/bso/index.jsp?id=bcat5240070

2) I was arbitrarily given “The New Jersey Devil;” all the bikes have great names though. Anything feisty has good energy attached.

3) At Jacob’s Pillow posing in a true dorky Candice way. I was blown away at the beauty of this place. http://www.jacobspillow.org/

4) Some volunteer friends and I eating our Kripalu dinner to-go on a blanket picnic-style in front of the stage at Jacob’s Pillow. The stage is on the side of the mountain in the middle of the forest where birds chirp and the sun sets on the dancers.

5) No pictures allowed during performances…luckily I am stealth!

6) No one is allowed on the stage either….luckily I am sneaky!

7) Volunteer fire hoopers rocking it out at the ‘Holistic Hoopers’ performance. They took the weekend program… I was envious.

8) Professional fire hula hooper with a flaming whip….yikes! I admit I was a little scared of him. He had a horn headdress on too which contributed to my fear.

9) A visit to The Clark art museum made me feel cultured. I appreciated paintings and tilted my head in various ways to examine different angles of the ‘Picasso looks at Degas’ exhibit. The gallery security looks a lot like the secret service which prevented me from securing a picture of paintings from the exhibit. I was able to get other photos though. http://www.clarkart.edu/exhibitions/picasso-degas/content/exhibition.cfm

10) A nod to “Bob’s Country Kitchen,” still wishing I tried the pie, or spaghetti.

11) Me "journey dancing" like the free spirit I am. I practiced teaching during the training and facilitated a shamanic dance where we shook out our stagnated dreams and built a big house with them. I like wearing a headset microphone, I felt like a fancier more creative Richard Simmons.

12) Everyone "journey dancing" like the free spirits we are. We literally danced all day everyday for 6 days from 9am-9pm with sprinklings of breaks for meals and rest; seriously a workout physically, emotionally and spiritually.

13) I graduated! I received a bindi glittery OM sticker and certificate. I am now a licensed JourneyDance teacher! Wooo-hoooo! www.journeydance.com

14) We had a fire releasing ceremony to burn up negative and self-limited thoughts in the JourneyDance training (we literally burned scraps of paper that had those statements on them) and I felt so powerful that I thought this pose (made up by me and in no way related to yoga) represented how I felt that night… magnetically, energetically unstoppable! What out universe!

15) A dear friend/fellow volunteer and I at the graduation for JourneyDance. People at Kripalu feel the love and share it openly, I gladly reciprocate. There is a beautiful community here and I feel connected to humanity through each person.

Jai Jai
Have a blessed week!

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words...

Dear children of the universe,

Ironic that I say a picture is worth a thousand words and I don't have any posted this week. I actually took amazing photos and went to adventurous places but the internet in my dorm moves at a snail's pace so it takes 15 minutes for each picture to upload. Essentially you will have no pictures until next week (cue droopy music). Osho says that the most profound things in life cannot be explained with words because they are beyond language. I’ll borrow that quote for this week to rationalize my way out of a long blog and molasses downloading. The only request I have is for you to imagine the images since I don't have actual ones. I'm also quite tired, I just started the journey dance teacher training on Sunday night and I'm dancing, hopping, twirling, gliding, sweating, chakra cleansing, shamanic shaking and everything in between for 10 hours a day for the next 6 days; but more on that next week. So humor me and imagine what these below places and experiences would look like. Then next week when I can breathe and get to a place of swifter internet access, you can compare your impressions with the actual photos.

This week I ventured off property and into the exciting world of the Berskires. I was asked to go on a bike ride for my work because one of the regular guides cancelled so I rode behind the pack cheering on a woman who wanted to quit and felt a mini-training session kicking in for the SMART Ride 7. We rode our bikes into Tanglewood (a wonderful vast property and the outdoor summer home of the Boston symphony orchestra). The stages are wooden and open up to the lawn like an open heart. People bring picnic baskets and relax on the lawn for the performances. I also went to Jacob's Pillow, an outdoor magnificent stage in the forest that hosts international dancers and free public viewings. I went with 10 other volunteers and we laid on blankets in front of the stage to get a great view. After, we pretended to be dancers and found odd things to stand on to do yoga poses. Before the yoga dance training started on Sunday night, I spent the day out and drove 45 minutes to Williamstown by myself to "The Clark" museum to experience the "Picasso Looks At Degas" exhibit, quite an engaging and witty collection of art....I loved it. On the way back I asked for spiritual guidance on a lunch spot and I immediately spotted "Bob's Country Kitchen" on the side of the road and across the street from a house with a working well. Too good to be true and only in the Berkshires I thought, so of course I stopped in for a veggie burger and tomato rice soup. Bob greeted me on my way in and out. I wish I saved room for the peanut butter chocolate cream pie. (Sorry folks, I didn't get a picture of that but I'm sure you can taste it anyway). In Kripalu news, I sat on the lawn on Saturday night to observe the "Holistic Hoopers," a California crew who were here teaching a program for the weekend on hula-hooping. They set their hoops on fire and gave us a great show. I should have taken that program (kicking myself)... somehow I feel like I was made to dance with a hula hoop on fire....someday folks, someday. Odd news: I spent a day this past week in complete silence. They call it "In Loving Silence" at Kripalu and you can get a badge that says that phrase from the front desk if you want to practice a day of meditation. I love how only at Kripalu everyone knows what it means and takes great care to support you in that place by seeing you and acknowledging you, but not expecting that you speak. However, if I wore it to Publix in Florida people wouldn't even notice. It was a cool experience to spend over 12 hours without talking, you should try it sometime. I don't know where you would go to be supported in that but it would be an interesting social experiment to see if people notice.

I will send my aching muscles to bed now, another day of dancing tomorrow, can't way to say more about that next week...pictures promised.

In light and love,

I don't like scrambled eggs...

The weight of a visit from Rob has created a heavy mood of missing home. It’s like I’ve been tossed in the ocean and told I have to swim to the shore again. I know I can do it and I’ve done it before but I don’t really want to. This time I will doggie-paddle in hopes that it’s less painful; a vigorous swim isn’t in the game plan. With Rob comes the energy of home. With the exit of Rob goes the energy of home back to its far away place without me. While I experience a steady stream of missing home, I suppose going two months without feeling the sharp ache in my heart isn’t so bad. I still don’t want the feeling though. The arriving and the leaving was yet another band aid being ripped off slowly similar to when I dropped my dog-children at camp the day I drove out of Fort Lauderdale for the Berkshires. I've said goodbye to compartmentalizing my sock drawer – Kripalu on the left, home on the right, all neatly stacked and color coordinated. The two worlds have collided like scrambled eggs with emotions sprinkled in from a careless cook with a heavy hand for pepper. To be honest, I’ve never liked scrambled eggs anyway. I like organized, intentional, neat, pseudo eggs with clearly defined edges. It’s too bad life experiences/lessons aren’t neat eggs.

Besides the eggs, the rest of the food on the plate tasted great. The weekend was fantastic. I enjoyed and soaked up home energy as much as I could. Rob and I enjoyed long dinners off site, did yoga together on site and contemplated past life lessons in the workshop we took together. We walked down to the creek, the lake, and up Housatonic Street in Lenox window shopping. The perfect patch of grass in the forest for a camel pose was successfully discovered and a sense of time was lost. In spiritual news: To no avail I attempted to rationalize a way someone could expedite karma. Rob learned that he sky-dived in a past life. I learned I do have a soul purpose of healing and that indeed I was once a Cheyenne chief. Out of a possible 10 in soul ages, Rob is a 10 and I am a 9, it’s a bummer I’m not retiring yet. Are they sure I can’t pack karma on a fast train? In culinary news: We ate great pizza and ice cream (twice each in 5 days), learned that dill biscuits are made with magic, and savored silky iced coffee during a late brunch. The connection and reconnection was paramount for us. I got to wear my blue dress with pockets out to a fancy dinner, took pictures of owl sightings and posed with a statue. It’s nice to sniff, hug and hold hands with the one you love. In retrospect, even though the visit scrambled my eggs and sock drawer, it was worth it. I continue to feel the value of experiences like a brick on my chest and I just let out the tears when they want to visit me too. I find it’s much better to do so rather than allowing them to hibernate in me. I feel the worth, intensity and power of my relationship running in my veins…and simultaneously the gratitude meter rises again. Did I mention I’m past the halfway point here?

I miss…. my heavy white down comforter, my walk-in closet, a bathtub, a view of the ocean, palm trees, seeing clients, a kiss in the morning, the sand in my toes, cooking, Jetson’s butt, Zephy’s begging, Teavana, air-conditioning, high-heels, bad late night TV, board games, familiar faces and Publix.

Good news is instead of wallowing over the above I employed my newly formed good habits. I spent the afternoon journaling, channeling, meditating and doing yoga to center myself. I actually spent 3 hours just meditating in yoga postures. I laid on the grass in the sun and looked over the mountains and lake, it’s still as beautiful as ever. The only difference I noticed this week looking at the same view is that I also remember that home is just as beautiful. So now I’m sifting through my sock drawer attempting to reorganize my compartments so I can truly allow myself to finish the work I’ve started here, and I will. I'm going on record that no midnight escapes while dressed in black have been planned. I’m swimming a little faster now, can’t you tell?

It’s a good thing….I know how to center myself, yoga dance releases pent-up energy, I have a great husband, I can communicate openly and honestly, intuition is still on the rise, vulnerability is easy for me, that I feel love from other planes, meditation is a regular occurrence, and that strawberry licorice solves most problems in life.

The journey continues folks, I am along for the full ride.

Om Shanti,
Jai,

The Liberation of Me!

Today I sat in the hot sun and looked up at it not seeing a single cloud in the sky so I closed my eyes and let it shine on me. It's the day after Independence Day and I sat on a hill looking outward to the mountains, trees and lake. I was overcome with joy, gratitude, unity, potential, power, love and so on. Just select every synonym of every blissful word and shake them all up in a bag and bake a cake then eat it slice by slice really slow; that’s how I feel, liberated with every bite. Indeed I am hoakie and meatball to a degree, but I am thankful my glass is half full, aren’t you? Interestingly, I am finding that it is more and more difficult to translate my experience here into words. I read a quote from Osho that said that the most beautiful and profound things in life cannot be put into words because they are beyond language. Perhaps an inventory is better than a summary of some kind. I’ve crafted a somewhat random laundry list of new things I’ve learned, noticed, practiced and observed over these past eight weeks. I’m halfway there folks; two months down.

• I like kale with a spray of Bragg’s, who knew?
• The Bhavagad Gita book club and study group has been a highlight every Friday afternoon.
• Rice dream is a dream come true every morning for breakfast.
• Seeing a flying wild turkey on a walk to the main building seems to be a regular occurrence.
• “Skillfulness in action” has a lot to do with being mindful enough to figure out if you’re skillful or not.
• I use more Sanskrit words than even I realize. My favorites you ask? (Jai Bhagwan, Om Namah Shivaya, Sattwa, Jai Ganesha, Om Shanti, Santosha, Ahimsa)
• Weekly blindfolded pranayama class is blissful.
• “If I chase it. I separate into the chaser and the chased. If I am it, I am it and nothing else.” –John Lilly
• “Holding space” for someone has nothing to do with holding anything tangible
• I notice my arms are stronger from walking the daily downward dog.
• I frequently utilize ‘hand mudras’ to manifest things; to my surprise it works.
• Cat/Cow/Fish/Camel/Pigeon….all have new meanings for me.
• Yoga is more than just using my 4 limbs, it's learning about 8.
• Saying “Jai” with hands in prayer while making eye contact with someone in the hall is a great way to say hello.
• I spray rose water in my eyes and use a tongue scraper thanks to Ayurvedic philosophy.
• Energy can be seen in colors.
• The trees dance when you ask.
• I dance when my spirit asks.
• I feel the three-part breath actually traveling from my belly up to my heart.
• Gluten-free pancakes taste better than regular pancakes, so do gluten-free cornflakes now that I think about it.
• “Listen to your life. All moments are key moments.” –Fredrick Buechner
• The metaphysical and mystical are alive and well.
• The designated volunteer table in the dining hall gives me a home for most meals where I can connect with peers. It’s like eating with the Broward House family during lunch, it’s a nice exhale during the day.
• I can now separate my thoughts, my emotions, the spiritual guidance and life lesson like a carefully taken a part friendship bracelet.
• 60 days and counting of breakfast in silence, what a nice way to start my day.
• I’ve learned that the difference between the “self” and the “Self” has to do with the ego.
• Meditation isn’t so bad. I say such good things about myself when I stop and give time to inquiry.
• “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” –Albert Einstein
• Have I really become desensitized to squirrels, rabbits, slugs, bats and oversized crows? I think I have.
• I learned I can hold the goddess pose for 5 minutes straight; they challenged us with this one day to practice working through mental barriers.
• Getting up at 6:00am gives me so much more energy then waking up later.
• I actually like the plank pose now because I feel my power.
• I realize I know Kirtan mantras by heart, how’d that happen?
• Physical exertion and journaling everyday has reconnected me with the stream of spirituality and consciousness.
• "It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." --Henry David Thoreau
• Intuition is now so much more to me than just a ‘gut feeling,’ thanks to the owl.
• I have more gratitude than I know how to contain in my physical body and I think it has something to do with my openness and faith.
• The other volunteers are friends that are like deeply rooted flowers that shine with an inner beauty, a caring spirit and an accepting heart. They fill me with meaningful conversation and warm hugs and are truly genuine souls.

Pictures from this week: the fish pose, some wild berries growing in the forest, the trees dancing, me taking the kayak out on the 4th of July.

Coming up next week: Rob in MA, a program on past lives, staying offsite, real pizza and so much more. It’s always so much more when every moment is cherished, I love that.

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live in every experience, painful or joyous, to live in gratitude for every moment, to live abundantly.” – Dorothy Thompson

Jai Jai