Candice's Top 15 Happenings...

Amazing beings of light-
Please enjoy the blog and rankings of this week's top 15.... leading up to the most juicy happening of the week.

15) Bunny rabbits were running around all over the place this week! I was able to spot one so close to me I could see the hair in his ears.

14) I found a tree within a tree. See the picture above. Apparently there are two different types of trees growing together and harmoniously (top half and lower half). Love the symbolism in that!

13) I heard that Kripalu shuts-down for a week after memorial day for maintenance and upkeep so there’s no formal meals; just pizza! While some volunteers are disappointed at the idea of no fresh, organic nutrients; I am secretly cheering and counting down the days.

12) In my last few days in the dish crew I was asked to scrub the grey, bottom strip of the buffet line on my hands and knees for 3 hours two days in a row to prepare for shut-down week and waxing the floors. Guests asked if I got the short stick in the delegation of kitchen duties. One of the paid staff mentioned he’s never seen anyone doing that before. Naturally, I felt special and honored to be selected for what seemed like a rare cleaning opportunity; it must be an omen!

11) I got to eat chocolate cake this week because it was a volunteer’s birthday and his mom shipped him a gourmet fudge cake from Texas.

10) I was busted dancing salsa in the workroom to music that was in the background so now I’m scheduled to teach salsa to the volunteer’s next week on “the flow” (a fancy printed weekly schedule of volunteer-only events)

9) I began reading this great book for an upcoming program I’m taking in June on Native American healing and bodywork. The book is: “Your body speaks your mind,” it’s about the connection between physical ailments, biology, thoughts, and emotions.

8) I linked up to a wonderful spiritual woman and faculty member here who is willing to mentor me. She taught me some standing meditations that I've incorporated into my morning routine that connect me to the earth. She says grounding myself would be really self-supporting since my energy flows vigorously up and out of my crown chakra. I'm like a water fountain in a lake..... lol

7) Speaking of lakes, the lake was closed yesterday due to “bear activity.” The lake is extremely close in distance and only about a mile walk, if that. A mommy bear and 2 cubs were there and I heard she was very protective so they closed it due to that. I am glad my new job will allow me to get off by 4pm so no more walking home from the dish crew in the darkness of night.

6) I discovered a new breakfast option including rice milk, millet cereal, almonds, warm honey and coconut. I never thought it would be good but I got creative this morning and was pleasantly surprised. I skipped right over the hot breakfast usual and went for something new. FYI, the meals rotate every three weeks for the entire summer so I ought to start getting even more creative.

5) I put a fake tattoo on my arm of a falcon. They had them in the volunteer workroom and I thought ‘I hadn’t done this since I was 9.’ Everyone thought it was a piece of dirt on my arm because it was smushy and dark-colored, but I loved it nonetheless.

4) On my last dish duty day I was asked to do “the garbage” (cue scary dooming music). “The garbage” task is the one I loathe the most. It involves hauling huge buckets of left over food down stairs and dumping it into a dark dungeon cave where it sits with other old food. When you pour it in it steams (ick). I was convinced the universe wanted me to experience “all” before my dish duties were over so I didn’t complain or cop out. I instead found 3 great things about “the garbage,” a) You get to use the utility elevator, which is cool, b) You get to unlock big locks and feel like an authority of some kind, and c) You get to throw brown boxes into a large bin like paper airplanes.

3) I manifested SARK! My favorite author ever is here doing a program and I was thinking of her and how I wanted to see her and then bam, she appeared in the salad buffet line right next to me. She remembered me from October and we hugged and chatted for a minute.

2) A few of us walked the labyrinth in the middle of the night for the full moon in silent meditation. We collectively set an intention before and joined hands after. I walked barefoot and saw fireflies…..my first ever firefly experience. Beautiful!

Drum roll…………and the most exciting happening of the week is…..
1) I performed the lawn mower, sprinkler, washing machine and funky chicken at the open mic night. I had 30 people doing it with me too. ;-)


Thanks you friends! Next week is shut-down and the start of my new job so I'm sure it will be an adventure. I hear there will be a bonfire and drumming at night. I will dance and celebrate the spirit of being alive as well as marinate on the gratitude for evolution. The learning continues....
Jai Bhagwan,

Om Namah Shivaya

So this week will go down in my mini-Kripalu history as the week devoted to transformation and change. This week was big! I hope I can articulate it well enough to depict the experience I had; I shall not “try” but rather “I will.” (nod to Steve and Jon). Forgive my delayed blog entry this week as it’s due to the enormity of my experience and finding the right time, the right cup of tea and the right stillness to share it. “Om Nama Shivaya” is a Sanskrit mantra affirming the building up and evolution of the spiritual self. A very rough, non-literal translation could be something like, 'Om and salutations to that which I am capable of becoming.' This quote certainly lends itself to my discovery the past few days; it’s amazing. Please enjoy the pictures attached of some artwork I did as a result of meditations this week. I also went down to the lake to read which was breathtaking. I also found a Target here, I loved driving into town and discovering the gems hidden. In Target I smiled from ear to ear and took a deep breath; so SO exciting to be there. It reminds me of home so much.

So I began this week with continuing my love affair with the dishes and added some mantras to new tasks. I was approached by the volunteer program manager wanting a check-in appointment with me. A few days later I skipped to her office on an otherwise eventless day expecting a short conversation (most days at Kripalu are eventless in terms of stress of any kind), but to my surprise I was met with a proposal. What kind of proposal do you ask? She presented me with an opportunity to switch jobs here; going from the dish crew/team to a job of one working in the retreat and renewal department. This job entails posting, organizing and planning the mini-workshops the guests take. These are the classes I’ve mentioned before that I go to during the day before I work like Ayurveda, Yoga and Nutrition, etc. They have about 4 to 5 a day at various times run by different faculty here and are a one-time workshop which lasts about an hour. The program manager said she thought of me because she remembered why I wanted to come to Kripalu and thought it would be a good match. She mentioned that I would work in conjunction with the entire faculty offering the workshops including attending them as a part of my job to evaluate the experience. For some, this would be great. For me before I came here, this would be beyond my expectations on the awesome scale. But for me now, this was turning my world upside down. My first response to her was “but the dishes are divine.” A strange response to hear I imagine. I had until the end of the day to give her an answer and then she was going to ask someone else. I went straight to somewhere in the building where the view was amazing and sat quietly for a few minutes and meditated on how best to make this decision. I decided to disengage my mind because it only added to the challenge. I managed to recite a few affirmations on allowing my higher self and my heart center to come together and make it clear to me by the end the day what I was supposed to do, ‘give me a sign.’ I am truly here to flourish and I want what my spirit needs for itself to grow irrespective of what I like, or what I think, in the moment. Does that make sense? Essentially, I didn’t want to take any easy road out and I had already gotten so much from the dishes I figured I had only scratched the service of what I could get….. Anyway, I had been dealing with an especially tough cold this week as well (which I consider a detox and healthy) but nonetheless it sucked a little energy out of me each day. I went to work in the dish room and began my mantras that night. I found myself extremely tired and lethargic. Cauliflower, cottage cheese and random matchstick carrots ended up in my hair and face that night due to spraying water like a crazy woman into oversized pots and pans. I even got myself directly in the eye with the water too. Nonetheless, I thought, this is not a sign. I’m sick and I’m a little careless and I’m looking for something that isn’t there. At the close of the night and as we were cleaning, mopping etc. my body felt incredibly tired and especially wore down but I explained that away too. In the last 10 minutes of the shift I was replacing a heavy, huge, dense, metal drain into Mahadishi (the dish machine) and I inadvertently whacked myself in that sweet spot portion of my nose so hard my eyes started to water immediately. The next thing I knew I was in the office with my head facing down with a serious 10 minute nose bleed. My friends, my dearest friends, be careful what you ask for I say. Especially if you are asking for something in a place like Kripalu, the magical and majestic spiritual home for so many. It’s like what you ask for here comes to you quicker and with more intensity. I always tell people that if you don’t listen to what the universe is trying to tell you, eventually a spiritual brick will come out of the sky and hit you on the head. It my case it was a metal drain and it manifested within a day of asking. I assured the universe that I, in fact, had received the message and no further injuries were necessary. Lord knows I could’ve been heading towards a broken bone if I looked the other way on this one. My dish crew mates couldn’t figure out why I was laughing and shaking my head while holding the rag over my face. Later that night I got a migraine, had to skip dinner and have someone drive me up the scary dark hill to my room because I was so dizzy. In my bed I held ice on my face until I fell asleep and thought, ‘this was a good spiritual learning day for me.’ The good news in this is that I’d trade mental clarity for physical pain any day of the week and even though my body was in pain, my mind was serene. It seems that it’s time for me to explore a new area here and discover the beauties and challenges in that. I gave my decision to the program manager to switch jobs the next morning and felt completely at ease with that. I begin my new job June 1 so I was happy to learn I had 2 more weeks to soak up all the divinity there was left to be had in the dishes. I also offered to work in the dish room 1x a month on busy weekends to help out; which they were happy to grant. My new supervisor is a wonderful, flexible, supportive man and I’ve had a few conversations with him this week. He is willing to support me in taking 5 programs over the next 3 months (2 of which are a week long) which is amazing by the way. He is also okay with me doing yoga dance everyday during my lunch break and taking a little extra to eat my meals. My schedule will be 5 days a week at about 35 hours. In reflection, I have no problems in trusting the universe and the guidance it offers as long as I know the general direction it wants me to go in. Even if I have fear about why I should go in that direction, I will go if I know in my heart it’s where I should. I think we are often far too busy in our minds to catch any subtle signals being gently handed to us. Furthermore, if we notice the sign, many of us lack the courage to acknowledge a change is needed. Fear is a scary, immobilizing thing. Evolution is occurring here and I feel so grateful for not letting it pass me by; it’s amazing. One of the yoga teachers said something that stuck in my head this week. She said that sometimes our minds kidnap us right out of our bodies and we miss life because we just go through the motions. I walk now looking at every bird, flower and tree that I can. I found a crow’s feather on the ground the other day because I was consciously walking. I am blessed to be learning that I can trust. This trust is what got me here so I’m going to continue following the signals and supportive road maps that are coming into my awareness. I shake my head and think “it’s amazing,” that’s a song by the way. One Eskimo sings it and it really embodies transformation which is something we can all relate to; look up the lyrics if you like. Om Namah Shiyava folks.

p.s. "It’s Amazing" by One Eskimo is on youtube too

p.p.s. I’m going to an open mic night tonight among the volunteers, they better hope I don’t want to sing. 

"Jai Bhagwan"

This week I’ve thought a lot about the concept of freedom and how that translates into my life and I began to notice how free Kripalu really is. There happens to be no locks on any of the dorms in the “hill house” which is where I live. So during the day, my room stays open and free to the wild and whatever else. People walk around in the main building with no shoes on, the trees and leaves grow in all places and all directions, no one is clothed in the women’s sauna and bunny rabbits hop around your feet if you eat lunch outside on the picnic tables (had to do a double-take for that one myself). I went for a guided hike in the woods Thursday (my first official hike) and the stillness of the forest really gives way for you to come as you are. I went with 15 people and we all hiked in silence; the trees made me speechless even if I wanted to talk I was without words. Please enjoy the hike pictures attached by the way. That’s the tree pose we all did on a cliff overlooking a ravine and mountainous, vast, space that is Stockbridge; beautiful right? I did, in fact, pee in the woods which was closely reminiscent of my SMART Ride experience and oddly reminded me of home. Hikes are no joke around here and you have to be agile, in shape and extremely careful. I had to go all fours a few times just to squeeze in between slippery rocks up the side of a mountain. I was also told a series of stories about being mindful of ticks that land in your hair as you walk along. I checked myself like a monkey does its young upon my return to ensure I was all clear. I learned various things this week relating to freedom such as the liberation and inhibition of more yoga dance. Various guests approached me while I was cleaning tables in the dining room to point out that I was quite a brave dancer in not following the teacher’s instructions but rather in the corner all by myself dancing with my eyes closed and creating my own moves. They went on to tell me it was inspiring to see me let go of the world and be so vulnerable. I never thought of it that way but I’m glad they brought that to my awareness as it gave me more to be grateful for in this experience. I’m equally as grateful for dish crew tasks. I’ve assigned a mantra to each dish duty. For example, when I put away the pots, pans, spatulas, strainers, pitchers etc. I think “there is space in this world for everyone no matter how they come or who they are.” When I take clean dishes off the machine I think “clean and fresh people go into the world and serve their purpose better than heavy, weighted down people.” My favorite task though is refilling the glass bottles of oil, vinegar, tamari etc. and then washing them gingerly and lovingly like a baby Buddha. I think “being absolutely present and paying attention to detail in self-nurturing generates great joy.” I’m embarrassed to say that while filling the vinegars I almost shed a tear the other day thinking of this concept. It just blew my mind. Speaking of freedom, at Kripalu, they love crying by the way. I learned in my weekly volunteer group to do the following when emotions are rising up: Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch and Allow. I naturally do the opposite in the real world. Skillfulness in action here translates into “acting dynamically in ways that reliably produce more thriving.” So I’ve been really thinking about thriving too and how to maximize that. Although back home I became proud and boastful of surviving the tough day, surviving isn’t what life is really about I think. The magic happens when we can learn to maneuver life while ‘thriving’ on its challenges. That is real freedom I’m learning. Along with “Namaste” yoga teachers say “Jai Bhagwan” [ji-baa-gwan] which is “victory to spirit” in Sanskrit. “Jai Bhagwan” is a greeting and hope for a thriving, free, alive, spirit. What a beautiful way to say hello or goodbye to people? I challenge you to give out a “Jai Bhagwan” to someone this week. I will do the same. Light and love…..

p.s. I work Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday, Sunday so blog updates are easier for me in the middle of the day when I’m off Monday.

p.p.s. I’d like to give a shout-out to the Ladies of Divinity; may you all continue to find victory and peace in your own spirits.

p.p.p.s If you want to send me mail this is the address:
Candice Carreno
Kripalu Center c/o PATH
P.O. Box 309
57 Interlaken Road
Stockbridge, MA 01262

Self-Observation Without Judgment

Dear Friends-

I am here and settling. The journey of acclimation has been inspiring and spiritual. The people here are supportive, loving and they smile at you when you pass them. Kripalu itself sits up on a mountain in the Berkshires and when you look around you see green everywhere. The building inside is serene, the windows are always open so the air blows in and down each stairwell there are huge inspirational quotes. Please enjoy the pictures I've included. I'm still trying to take it all in. I live in a dorm with 3 girls and it's about a 10 minute walk from the main building where everything happens. At night, I can't even see the hand in front of my face walking back and find myself wanting to run there instead. I heard a story about a bear hanging out around here but I'm choosing to not believe it for my own sanity. My little flashlight hardly gives me confidence. My schedule is interesting.....I got assigned to the most humble of jobs here; the dish team! That's right folks, I'm getting down and dirty. At first I was struggling with it but now I'm really settling in and actually like it. I have trusted the universe to get me here up to this point and I can't stop trusting now. The dish team consists of a team of 5 people (also all new volunteers from around the country) and my attire is as follows: shorts and a t-shirt, rubber anti-slip grippies for my feet, an apron and gloves. I decorated the gloves with inspirational quotes instead of just putting my name on them. One such quote is "wooo-hooo." The dish team is responsible for washing the dishes everyone uses. It's kind of like an assembly line of sorts where we each have a specific job that depends on each team member. If one person is slow, we are all slow. It's extremely fast-paced and I love how it challenges me in ways I'm not used to. I am able to really be mindful and spiritual in completing a needed task with care and intention. I also love the fact that I can expend my energy, work in a team and practice finding the divine in the mundane. My supervisor is awesome and is also on a spiritual path, I'm sure I will learn much from him. Yesterday I was asked to take a wet towel and wipe down the buffet line and then go back and wipe it with a dry towel and all I could think of was karate kid. ;-) I'm sure my mind will empty doing dish duty and perhaps I can build more consciousness in action. After all, "yoga is skillfulness in action." -Bhagavad Gita. The hours of dish team also suit my intention for coming to Kripalu. Despite my bewildered gaze up to the universe when I got this assignment thinking, "huh????"... I now understand the reason. The dish crew only works 3 1/2 days a week from 1:30-8:30 compared to all other jobs at Kripalu which are about 35 hours a week and at least 5 days. The reason being is because it's such hard work. For me, this works out perfectly because I have more free time to engage in the classes and opportunities Kripalu offers. Every morning I have attended an educational holistic class for example, "yoga and nutrition," "healing the chakras," "healing arts: positional therapy," "mindful meditation"...which are free to volunteers not working when they are offered. I also have fallen in absolute love with yoga dance. If you can picture it, there's this huge room with high ceilings and big stained glass windows where the sun peeks in. It has a big statue of Shiva at the front and drapes of linens that hang from the walls and blow with the air that comes in. They essentially blast music and an instructor teaches a class where you bop around with a scarf, dance in groups and do free style moves all to release and clear your energy blocks. I have done it almost every day I've been here. LOVE IT! Yesterday was yoga dance to live drummers and I felt like I was at Broward House on a Wednesday night. Kripalu offers a teacher training for yoga dance which I may consider during my 4 month stay. Other educational experiences I will be taking here are weekly Tuesday night educational workshops on the study of karma yoga, which all volunteers participate in. There are also weekly reading and hiking groups which I plan to attend. I also can pick 2 weekend workshops to attend for free while I'm here and pay half price for as many as I want during the 4 months. I am in the process of selecting wisely. There are about 60 volunteers and about 30 new ones. What is super awesome is that many volunteers come with their own knowledge-base and set of talents so we're all in the process of disclosing those and trading services with each other (for example, some are nutritionists, herbalists, artists, angel card readers, reiki masters, photographers, yoga instructors etc.) Perhaps I can offer a women's nurturing group here for the volunteers. :) I have also spoken to the program manager at Kripalu and they are linking me up to a Kripalu faculty member specializing in holistic and healing arts for possible mentoring. I am putting my Medusa-like antenna's out there and feeling like a sponge, I'm soaking in as much as I can. I am blessed to have this opportunity and even more blessed to have supportive friends/co-workers sending me positive vibrations. Everyday I have intentions and am consciously bringing myself back to the now and present moment where everything is purposeful, joyful and beautiful. Swami Kripalu is the yogi guru who began Kripalu back in the day and there's a quote by him I've been hearing a lot around here: "Self-observation without judgment is the highest form of spiritual practice." My observation has just begun...stay tuned

Who is Pedro and why does he live in South Carolina?

Hello Friends-

Rob and I made it safely to Stockbridge, MA Saturday evening making record time. The distance in total was 1500 miles and took about 25 hours. The trip was scenic and the drive was fun. The first day we stayed in a city in Virginia called "Hopewell," very appropriate I thought as a mantra for my impending journey. We saw interesting billboards on the first day including about 30 advertising "Pedro's South of the Border" and various intriguing headlines such as "Pedro has flamingos," "Pedro says shalom," "Pedro is great with kids," "Motor Hotel at Pedro's".... huh? Unbeknownst to us Pedro is an amusement park of sorts with a hodgepodge of activities south of the border of North Carolina. The build up to it was much more exciting than the actual place so if you ever make a drive up the northeast don't get sucked into the Pedro trap. We passed the time in the car by my singing, Eakhart Tolle's "New Earth" on tape and making up games. We made a game out of nicknaming each state we drove through based on our experience in it. Some popular ones were "Take your money New Jersey" (because of all the tolls), South Carolina was "The state of Pedro" (obvious), Delaware was "Blink and you missed it" and Florida was dubbed "The morning cry." We were very excited to make it into MA so early. This gave us time to explore the bed and breakfast we booked, which is beyond adorable. We didn't realize how small and rural Stockbridge was until we tried calling around to find a place to watch the Mayweather boxing match. We called over 15 places in and around town with no luck. The people here hadn't even heard there was a fight tonight at all. Some tried to console us by inviting us to watch the Kentucky derby instead or participate in karaoke. Needless to say my poor husband was out of luck and had to follow the match through updates on espn.com. When we drove out for dinner each house was about a quarter of a mile apart and the little town is no more than a strip of country stores with one gas station, one pharmacy, an authentic bakery and a few shops. I am seriously in the middle of nowhere!!! I find this exciting though. It gives me the chance to take a nice deep breath in... I feel swallowed up by nature here. The trees are breathtaking and larger than life. I will definitely hug one soon. I check into Kripalu tomorrow and the true adventure begins. I will update the blog weekly, most likely on Sundays. Stay tuned and thanks for sharing in this journey with me.